Keys to ineffective leadership. Part 1

  It is possible that the capitalist system is falling apart, but we are increasingly asked to conduct our lives as if we were directors, or rather as managers, or directly as a coach. We do not have a problem but we are facing an "opportunity".

 

  We aren´t sociable people, but we are able to identify people who can help us or cause us difficulties. We don´t get into shape at a wellness center, celebrate Halloween, treasure a background and not a past —all this is bearable when your name is Aaron and Jonathan—. This is referring to the vital guidelines that have been replaced by corporate slogans or "management". You are the company. Your identity a brand, your face a logo and when you talk "you implement a communication policy". Of all the pseudo-theology of the company the one that has always seemed to me the most remarkable and mysterious is the one related to leadership.

   

  The bible of this new creed is composed by management booklets  —always from a North American origin—, that also always comes illustrated with little stories that are like know-how fables, that try to show the moral of the directive. They are also very fond of lists of rules of things that should or should not be done depending on the circumstances. One of those little booklets was published the other day by Diario Expansion (Expansion Journal); it could be purchased for two Euros and is called "Keys to an effective leadership". This booklet has an especially suggestive chapter called "how to care of oneself" (in normal English it would be how you can take care of yourself) and it offers a seven-step recipe. Please permit me to reproduce it.

 

1. Talk regularly with someone you trust. Examples of people you can trust are given: a partner or close friend. Perhaps the author is too optimistic.
2. Look for a tutor. In the employment list of tutors? I suppose it will be someone you know prior payment of the tuition of the Masters Degree.
3. Take advantage of seminars and personal leadership courses. (I suspect that the person mentioned in point 2 will be giving these seminars and might be the same person as in point 1).
4. Find a “sanctuary”. Clarification: a place to retreat and reflect regularly. For example a house owned by the mentor, which this person offers when you get leadership classes or when you talk to him or her as a close friend or partner
5. Don´t take criticism personally. (The criticisms of you tutor-couple-professor-landlord).
6. Practice relaxation techniques and take walks. It´s assumed that you will be accompanied by your tutor or a dog.
7. Don´t forget to exercise regularly. I don´t understand. Taking walks is not exercise? Maybe the dog is lazy. 

 

 It is curious that to protect yourself you must enrich your business school teacher. Once you don´t have a cent to your name, you can do it with others.
 

 

El Señor Gordo

El humor está aquí, en alguna parte

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Translation by Amanda Perri